Friday, September 23, 2005

Closets

Its been yet another rough week. Yes, I know it sounds boring when you put it into words, but that is essentially what the working life is about. The sad part is that what seems so utterly consuming during an extended office day is of little (if any) interest to anyone in the outside world. Plus if the work you're doing is confidential, you can't really gas off about it to all and sundry. So when people ask "What do you do during those twelve hour days" you just grin inanely and come up with a half baked baguette. My mother asked me incessantly why it was necessary for me to come straggling home well after midnight. I had no answer. She assumed (incorrectly) that I lived in a parallel universe of which she was not a part.
Getting home late means that one's social life is curtailed and the options are limited to scowling at the dog (animal cruelty) or watching television (human cruelty). As I prefer to retain the Beast's sanity (or what passes for sanity) I decided to switch on one of the hip new private channels. I found myself cast into a programme for men. The usual grooming tips, fashion, accesories etc were trumpeted. And then the programme went into a "conversation" section with a bunch of ostensibly intelligent men and women babbling on about heterosexual relationships- the usual, tired, variation on the Mars and Venus routine. Suddenly the camera zoomed in onto one of the more vocal participants. "That man's a raging queen" I choked. "What's he doing on air talking about men and women?" The conversationalist in question had bust his closet majorly leaving a trail of splinters in his wake. I recall him being aggressively determined in his pursuit of men including, incidentally, his boss. (The boss succumbed and he was fired in due course. Talk about sleeping your way down.) And now I had to face the Faerie Queen talking about his relationships with women!
I know several gay men who are unable to openly talk about their sexuality or their relationships, except perhaps for some very close friends. That's fine. I also know many gay men who have had to grudgingly get married being unable to stave off social pressure. Ok. This is a tough call and will have to wait for another blog. But then you have people who are ardently, openly gay who surround themselves with women ("beards" as they are unflatteringly called) and pretend to be straight. In this case on national television. While I agree that people have a right to privacy they have a corresponding obligation not to project a completely false version of themselves. Or don't they? I do believe that stuffing your sexuality into someone's face is unwarranted. Sure there are tough moments where you may have to be "economical with the truth" if you want to. But to put yourself onto prime time TV and insinuate your heterosexuality is downright dishonest. And that is not a good place to be.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sister Spikey Mace of Desirable Mindfulness said...

It does indicate some ambivalence, that's for sure. "Oh yes, I'm totally accepting of who I am...except for where I'm not."

8:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe those who loudly proclaim their (homo)sexual preferences at private gatherings are more than happy to gaiyly (ha) abandon their sexuality for 15 minutes of fame. That the 15 minutes of infamy makes them the butt of jokes is rather sad.

2:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it is necessary for a gay mans survival that he hides his sexuality in a non gay environment. Yet at the same time i agree with uber homme that one should not pretend to be straight. It does indeed represent a level of dishonesty and i would rather stay away from such a person. Ok i think working life has no meaning. One follows routine like a robot and the only thing prevalent in ones mind is sex and that impairs the normal thought process to a large extent if left unadministered. I hate working life and i wish i could go back in time or start earning loads of money or get an instant social life in lahore

11:45 am  
Anonymous Sin said...

I agree with you. It's just foolish and embarrassing for all concerned.

7:56 pm  

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