Thursday, May 12, 2005

The Inn of the Sixth Happiness

I did it. I finally mustered the courage to walk into a brothel. But purely for academic purposes. The brothel in question officially passes as a "killub" of the far eastern variety. I drive by it a dozen times a day. Its infamy is well known and it is regularly busted once a month. It survives tenaciously and continues relentlessly. The Italian and Tham (he lisps) popped by yesterday and the killub cropped up in conversation. I told them I had never been there ...indeed I had never been into a brothel before. What are we waiting for ? Let's go now. And so it started.
The killub has all the accoutrements of a nice safe chinese restaurant. Dragons, paper lanterns and chinese characters. The biggest dragon is the bouncer at the gate. "Pakistan national" he asked in some undecipherable accent. "UK National" said the Italian before I could tell the truth. We were whisked in with unseemly haste. As my eyes accustomed themselves to the low lighting I could make out a bar, a dance floor and a billiards table. There were mysterious Chinamen lurking round the place. Professional lurkers. The clientele (barring the the three of us) was largely Arab. This seemed to be a meeting space for the two easts: Far and Middle. The women were wannabe Chinese. Chinky eyed but of the Central Asian variety. Vaguely Chinese in the wrong lighting. Not unattractive, but wary. I'm sure they were much older than I made them out to be.
Later in bed (alone, in case you're wondering) I thought it through. What makes men do the brothel thingie ? Many of my straight, "happily" married male friends have confessed to visiting Houses of Ill Repute in Karachi, Lahore and Dubai. Is it just the thrill of instant sex ? Is there power play that goes with it ? Or have I left out some vital ingredient. Most of my gay friends are pretty cool about promiscuity - I am reliably informed that every one night stand has the potential to grow into something more permanent. None of my gay friends have actually confessed to paying for sex. Except for the Guru, but he's weird anyway. On the other hand, lets not get to finicky about definitions here. Some gay relationships teeter-like bad stilletos-on the thin dividing line between Love and Paid Love. What about the Canderel Daddy who pays the rent, cellphone bill and airline fares ? Theoretically, not much difference between him and the fat paunchy Shaikhs I saw last night. Or did the Beatles get it all wrong. Money can buy you love. Is it OK to go for someone because she has big tits or because he has a big dick, but-totally, wholly, completely immoral to go for a big bank balance ? So many questions. So few answers.


Blogger s said...

i have many personal issues with prostitution or paying for sex. but i think we have become desensitized...i wouldn't be really surprised if someone admits to having paid for sex.

the funny thing is that no guy i have asked has admitted to it. they would snort and say "ME? pay for sex?!" as if the implication was that only sad, lonely men with small penises paid for it.

we all know that that is not true.

i suppose men do it simply because then they don't have to woo the girl. it cuts the bullshit out, especially in a desi courtship scenario, where the guy is all to often forced to take the girl to multiple dinners, tell multiple lies about his intentions, and promise love and white picket fences before he can get what he really wanted (a shag). a whore provides the same service, for less. sure, there's no chase, no exictement, no real feelings, but it's better than a wank and cheaper than a rejection or possible invitation into the bedroom, after three expensive dates.

also, to be honest, my personal feelings about it aside, i am all for legalizing the profession - this 'work' has existed for far longer than most modern day jobs (call centre operators, software programmer, etc) were dreamt of and these workers need to be looked after and protected, just like everyone else.

4:33 pm  
Blogger Uber Homme said...

sarah: i have issues too. But I agree that it is wiser to recognise and "regularise" the issue rather than pretend it doesn't exist. (They've done it in France.)

As for guys ....they do confess though among other guys only. They know that women will think they're jerks. (Which they probably are in the first place.)Its quick sanitised (and not very safe)...But I kind of like the chase- though not the rejection that sometimes follows. But then I'm weird about these things.

ps: what's all this about white picket fences ?!! They're cropping up all over the place

5:33 pm  
Blogger livinghigh said...

ummm.... so when the guy takes the gal out, he shud pay for dinner, etc - but when the older guy takes the younger guy, he shudn't?!

let's take a step back now. When I'm on a date at the first step, it's all dutch. I suppose, as things get deeper, and the other guy (the richer one) gets more generous, he starts shelling out most. Also, there are cases, when rich bozo wants to go to places which poor bozo can't afford - and when he makes this clear to rich bozo, he gets an answer like "o, i'll take care of it".

yes, uber - it's complicated. I've been in so many of these roles - the one who's gone dutch, the one who's paid, and the one who's been paid for - am not sure what category I fall into, though.

11:37 pm  
Blogger Sin said...

OK, I'm not going to say anything about paying for dinners and such ;)

Quite honestly, I don't know how many issues I have with prostitution. In a regularised environment, why not? You pay for a massage, you pay for any number of different body-related services that you could technically perform yourself (let your imaginations run wild!), so where's the issue in paying for sex?

I suppose it's when emotions spill over into the sex?

12:38 pm  
Blogger Uber Homme said...

Sin: Dinner is NOT prostitution!! Maybe a diamond studded watch is. But then again, beware of men who give (and wear) stones. My jury is still out on paying for sex. Ask me in another ten years!

11:53 am  
Blogger Uber Homme said...

LivingHigh: I'm not much of a Dutch guy. There is a sensitivity involved in all of this. There are loads of places to go to which are neither the Ritz nor KFC. And if I'm with someone who can't afford to take me out for even a coffee and a sandwich then I'd need to evaluate the economics of the relationship VERY carefully.

11:55 am  
Blogger say what? said...

when they admit they paid for it .. it brings one of their primal fears..

rejection :)

i guess when they say they never paid for the sex makes them think they are still pretty much desireable ..

one night stand .. heh.. everyone needs an escape .. breaking rules is a thrill .. nothing more to it ..

9:28 am  
Blogger Uber Homme said...

yeah, but once you KNOW you've paid for something can you still believe you're desirable. Not me! On the thrill factor...I totally agree! (So do most people but they would never confess to it! )

2:09 pm  

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