Monday, March 21, 2005

Frigid Jones Diary- The horrors of Cyberdating

Number of Profile Views: 3,672.
Number of Profiles met: 0
Number of Profiles wanted to meet: 2
(but didn’t muster the courage)
Number of messages received: 1321
% of these from unattractive types: 95%
% of these from friends too lazy to SMS: 5%
% of responses from “bottoms” 50%
% of responses from wannabe tops: 50%
%of responses seeking instant sex: 97.5%
Most common words used: “sincire” “verstyle” “LOL” “hahahahahaha”
Most common body part photographed: schlong
Most common favourite book: The Da Vinci Code
Most Common Description: “I am simple boy.” “I hate liers”
Most Common Favourite Actress: Julia Roberts
Most Common Favourite Actor : Bread (sic) Pitt
Most Common long term Goal : Relationship
Most Common immediate Goal : One night stand
Picture source: GQ/Esquire/advertising
Resemblance to picture posted: 0%
Most repeated introduction: "Hello Dear"
Usual Intro: ". i prefer to meet any white man who is living if ur instrusted in an goos relationship or friendship with me u can msg me i will reply to u ... one thing there ae som thing that i need u should be ..romantic,flexible bit hunk and in 22 to 30 ... i am into younger guys only. i like bondage ,kinkysex and otherstuff. (sic)


Blogger s said...

what a nightmare!!!

'bread pit' is hilarious!!!

i LOVE your blog.

6:52 pm  
Blogger Sin said...

Oh Uber. I feel your pain. I really, really, REALLY do. I'm so tired of people telling me that they're sincere and not "sex freakzzzzz", while simultaneously lying about themselves and uploading profile photos that involve cans of Crisco, dildos, and some extremely bedraggled hamsters.

11:56 pm  
Blogger ~`~ said...

How depressing!!!

Hasnt anyone used "Will u MAKE friendship with me"?

3:07 am  
Blogger Uber Homme said...


thank you for all your "sincire" comeents.

12:19 pm  

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